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When it's time

Signs Mom may need more help at home

There's rarely one moment. It's usually a pile of small things: the unopened mail, the dent in the car, the call where she sounded confused. Here's how to read the signs, and what to do next.

Written by the A Move for Mom editorial team · Last reviewed October 30, 2026 Expert reviewer: placeholder · Editorial standards

What to look for on your next visit

Visit long enough to see an ordinary day, not just a holiday dinner. Look for changes from how Mom used to live:

  • The house: piled-up mail or unpaid bills, spoiled food, a stovetop with scorch marks, laundry left undone, a yard or pool that used to be kept up.
  • Her body: weight loss, new bruises, unsteady walking, holding onto furniture, wearing the same clothes for days.
  • Medications: pill bottles that are too full or too empty, or confusion about what she takes and when.
  • The car: new dents or scrapes, getting lost on familiar routes, or friends who've stopped riding with her.
  • Her world: dropping out of church, clubs, or calls with friends; long stretches alone.
  • Her mood: withdrawal, irritability, or anxiety that's new.

Falls deserve special attention

Falls are common and serious. More than one in four adults 65 and older falls each year, yet fewer than half tell their doctor. Falling once doubles the chance of falling again [1]. If Mom has fallen, even without injury, mention it to her doctor and ask about a fall-risk check. See what to do when Mom is falling.

Memory changes

Some forgetfulness comes with age. Memory problems that disrupt daily life, like getting lost somewhere familiar, repeating the same question, or trouble handling money, are different and worth a doctor's visit [2]. Our guide to memory loss vs. normal aging walks through the difference.

What to do next

  1. Write down what you see, with dates. It helps her doctor, and it helps you see whether things are changing.
  2. Talk with Mom first, before you talk about moving. Ask what's hard for her. How to start.
  3. Ask her doctor for an evaluation if you see memory changes, falls, or weight loss.
  4. Match help to the need. Sometimes it's in-home help a few days a week; sometimes it's assisted living or memory care. Our care quiz gives you a starting point.
  5. Call your local helpline for free services near Mom:

Local helplines are generally staffed weekday business hours. Check each agency's site for current hours.

Common questions

Is it too early to start looking?

Usually not. Families who look before a crisis have more choices and more time. Touring now doesn't commit you to anything.

What if Mom says she's fine?

She may be. Or she may be worried about losing independence. Start with what she wants to protect, and see when Mom refuses to move.

Talk it through with a local advisor

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Find a local advisor

Keep reading

Sources

  1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Older Adult Falls: Facts and Stats. cdc.gov/falls/data-research/facts-stats.
  2. National Institute on Aging, What Are the Signs of Alzheimer's Disease? nia.nih.gov.
  3. Area Agency on Aging of Palm Beach/Treasure Coast, Elder Helpline. aaapbtc.org/helpline.
  4. Aging and Disability Resource Center of Broward County, Helpline. adrcbroward.org.
  5. Alliance for Aging (Miami-Dade and Monroe), Elder Helpline. allianceforaging.org.
  6. Florida Department of Elder Affairs, Elder Helpline 1-800-96-ELDER. elderaffairs.org.

General information, not medical, legal, or financial advice. A Move for Mom is not a licensed health care provider.